Sausages, Sausages, Sausages, Three Times Without Laughing...

20th August 2019

To those who are no longer with me, 

My mum has this thing. As children, she could always tell when we were lying. So, she made us prove it to her. As a kid I couldn’t do it. As an adult, I still can’t.

Nine times out of ten, she would come down to our level, one hand on my shoulder, my theory so that we couldn’t squirm away, and with the other she would point to her eye and say,

“Look me in my beady little eyes and say sausages, sausages, sausages, three times without laughing I did not….” Followed by whatever the hell we were lying about that day.

Now, what you don’t understand is, we had to say the whole thing. We didn’t just have to say sausages three times and then the thing we were lying about, we had to say the without laughing bit too.

What my mum won’t tell you though, is that she pulls a face. She opens her eyes so wide and leans into you that is impossible to not laugh. I’m 24, and I can be telling the God’s Honest truth and mum will sit there and pull out the sausages card and I will fail, every single time.

I think that there have been times when my sister has been able to keep it together. I don’t think my dad ever has, yes, she does it to him too.

I suppose it is just one of those things unique to my family and will something that I lovingly inflict on my own children. So, for that, thanks mum.

So, that is what you’ve missed.
Love, always
Tiffany Jade
Xo