Get Your Body 'Summer Ready'

11th June 2019

To those who are no longer with me,

One of my life goals has always been to lose weight. I've always been a big girl and I can honestly say; I hate my body and I don't think there has ever been a time when I didn't. However, sitting here, window shopping online, window shopping because right now I don't even have a single pound to spend, I've realised something. I am forever telling myself and those around me that I am going to lose weight, but I never do. Call me lazy if you want, but I now know different. Before I change my body, I want to be able to love my body and myself the way I am first. That may sound stupid to some of you, but this is the body I have had for twenty-four years and it deserves a little love. It has been through bullying and heart ache and loss and is still going. It hasn't given up on me yet, so forgive me if I want to be able to love it before I lose it.

 We're coming into summer if we're not already there, and by the looks of the weather we're currently having, I think not, but anyway, I want to be able to wear whatever the hell I want. Jump/playsuits have never looked right on me, in my opinion anyway, and if that's what I think, good luck convincing me otherwise. One of my best friends has just said to me "I used to be like that...until I stopped caring." And I'm now sat here giving her silent Hallelujah's because she is thirty miles away and impossible for me to hug right now. That is the mentality I need to adopt. I know that. I spend my life telling myself and others that I don't give two flying fucks about what people think of me and I think that, is consistently, the biggest lie I have ever told. If I'm going to be truly happy in my own skin then I need to practice what I preach, which could prove to be easier said than done but hopefully by the time this post goes up I'll be well on my way to not caring.

So, I'm saying fuck it and I'm buying the jumpsuits I'm unsure will look okay. I'm buying the cute shorts that will undoubtedly set my thighs alight and I can't wait to do it. I'm looking forward to just buying all the clothes I've been afraid of buying before, I'm looking forward to walking the streets in said clothes and not caring about the looks I will get because, I will be a plus size girl not conforming to societies standards of what I should or shouldn't wear. Ooooh, deep. Not even sorry.

If I want to wear a crop top, guess what? I'll wear a freaking crop top! Actually...that's a straight up lie. I will never wear a crop top, but you get the sentiment behind the lie and that is all that matters. Everyone's body is already summer ready. It's a simple fact. Everyone should feel comfortable enough in their own skin to be able to say, 'Hey, I don't need to get summer ready, I'm already there.' Now I know that you don't have to have that mentality, but it should at least be an option and no-one should be ridiculed because they love themselves and society says they shouldn't. Don't even think about sitting there and arguing that it's not true. You know as well as I do that it is.

I have majorly digressed. This was supposed to be about me coming to the realisation that I want to love my body as it is before I begin on the journey to the body I've always wanted. My God I hope this isn't just another lazy ploy from my body to not work out. I'll be extremely pissed off if it is. But hey, even if it is, at least I'll be loving myself. 

So, that is what you've missed.
Love, always
Tiffany Jade
Xo.