Negativity
Hello you lovely lot, this is my first impromptu post! How
exciting. I hope you all enjoy this post about negativity and cutting it out of
your life.
I will be the first to sit here and admit that I am a negative
person. There is so much about myself that I do not like, you can tell me
differently all you want, I will not believe you, and I am incredibly open and
honest about that. I can be known to surround myself with negativity too, some
people can feed off of others negativity towards them, I, however, cannot. I
tend to drown in it, which, I think we can all agree upon, is never a good
thing.
I find negativity and toxicity to be very similar if not the same. Negativity I feel is more towards a person, whereas toxicity is more in regard to a situation. A person can be negative towards you but a situation they put you in is toxic. I really hope that makes sense. There has been a lot of negativity and toxicity in my life over the years, and this is something that I am really trying to change.
Last year I finally bid farewell to someone who was having a very negative impact on my life and it had taken me a long ass time to see just how negative, and how toxic they were to me and for me. A relationship/friendship that becomes very one-sided is always a relationship/friendship I feel you should strive to remove yourself from. At first, I thought that I had just wasted eleven years of my life being this person’s friend, especially when you find out that five of those years had basically been a lie anyway. I’ve decided that it wasn’t a waste as it has shown me, now I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything, just how good of a person I actually am. I don’t think you should ever walk away from a relationship/friendship feeling as though all your time spent with them was a waste, as you will always be able to take something from it. In this case it was that I am actually a good person, and if a ‘friend’ physically assaults you on a night out, they are no friend of yours.
Cut to now, literally an hour ago and I finally managed to remove someone from my life, like I had been trying to do for the last six years. I always equated her to an elastic band, it doesn’t matter how far pull it, it always snaps right back. For the last six years I was pulling desperately on that elastic band in order to remove them from my life, but they always popped back up and always expected things to be different. Today was different, today I severed ties as clearly and as cleanly as possibly, I cut that elastic band. When you question my morality is where I draw the indefinite line the sand.
All I ever wanted from this person was an apology for something they did that deeply hurt and upset me, and I never got it. Even today, when I said that is all I wanted, it still didn’t miraculously appear. Instead they remained hidden behind the excuse that they don’t remember it happening and therefore it didn’t happen and they have nothing to apologise for. Am I the only one who finds that logic completely ridiculous? Surely, if someone tells you that you did something that hurt them, you apologise, regardless of whether or not you remember it? My logic may be flawed, but I know I certainly would.
If someone cannot find it within themselves to apologise for something that hurt me and instead questions the reason I fell out with them and tries to make out that I fell out with them because they moved on with their life and found everything they were ever looking for, then I’m sorry, but I have no room in my life for you. I would never fall out with someone over them finally getting the life they wanted. I would only ever feel happiness in regard to that, and that is what I do feel towards this person. Happy that they have everything they ever wanted.
Anyway, negativity. Whether it be towards you, surrounds you or just in your general vicinity, it is not good, and just because you know you have it in your life doesn’t mean it has to stay. I mean, some negativity can be good, it can spur you on and help you achieve goals, so just take the time to really look at it and decide if it is healthy or not to keep it in your life. It doesn’t have to even be in your immediate circle, it can be from a friend of a friend, a friends significant other. I feel so much better for getting rid of the negativity in my life and I am finally surrounding myself with some incredible people that I am so lucky to call my best friends. I have surrounded myself with so much love and positivity that I don’t recall being this genuinely happy with where my life is at.
I find negativity and toxicity to be very similar if not the same. Negativity I feel is more towards a person, whereas toxicity is more in regard to a situation. A person can be negative towards you but a situation they put you in is toxic. I really hope that makes sense. There has been a lot of negativity and toxicity in my life over the years, and this is something that I am really trying to change.
Last year I finally bid farewell to someone who was having a very negative impact on my life and it had taken me a long ass time to see just how negative, and how toxic they were to me and for me. A relationship/friendship that becomes very one-sided is always a relationship/friendship I feel you should strive to remove yourself from. At first, I thought that I had just wasted eleven years of my life being this person’s friend, especially when you find out that five of those years had basically been a lie anyway. I’ve decided that it wasn’t a waste as it has shown me, now I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything, just how good of a person I actually am. I don’t think you should ever walk away from a relationship/friendship feeling as though all your time spent with them was a waste, as you will always be able to take something from it. In this case it was that I am actually a good person, and if a ‘friend’ physically assaults you on a night out, they are no friend of yours.
Cut to now, literally an hour ago and I finally managed to remove someone from my life, like I had been trying to do for the last six years. I always equated her to an elastic band, it doesn’t matter how far pull it, it always snaps right back. For the last six years I was pulling desperately on that elastic band in order to remove them from my life, but they always popped back up and always expected things to be different. Today was different, today I severed ties as clearly and as cleanly as possibly, I cut that elastic band. When you question my morality is where I draw the indefinite line the sand.
All I ever wanted from this person was an apology for something they did that deeply hurt and upset me, and I never got it. Even today, when I said that is all I wanted, it still didn’t miraculously appear. Instead they remained hidden behind the excuse that they don’t remember it happening and therefore it didn’t happen and they have nothing to apologise for. Am I the only one who finds that logic completely ridiculous? Surely, if someone tells you that you did something that hurt them, you apologise, regardless of whether or not you remember it? My logic may be flawed, but I know I certainly would.
If someone cannot find it within themselves to apologise for something that hurt me and instead questions the reason I fell out with them and tries to make out that I fell out with them because they moved on with their life and found everything they were ever looking for, then I’m sorry, but I have no room in my life for you. I would never fall out with someone over them finally getting the life they wanted. I would only ever feel happiness in regard to that, and that is what I do feel towards this person. Happy that they have everything they ever wanted.
Anyway, negativity. Whether it be towards you, surrounds you or just in your general vicinity, it is not good, and just because you know you have it in your life doesn’t mean it has to stay. I mean, some negativity can be good, it can spur you on and help you achieve goals, so just take the time to really look at it and decide if it is healthy or not to keep it in your life. It doesn’t have to even be in your immediate circle, it can be from a friend of a friend, a friends significant other. I feel so much better for getting rid of the negativity in my life and I am finally surrounding myself with some incredible people that I am so lucky to call my best friends. I have surrounded myself with so much love and positivity that I don’t recall being this genuinely happy with where my life is at.
Love, always
Tiffany Jade
Xo
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